For the past 21 years, I’ve been in fear of water.
First of all, I know it’s a bit different when it comes to having a fear, but at the age of 4, during a friend’s birthday party, I went under. I went under unaware of what was going on, what to do, and having never been in the pool, well any pool before, I couldn’t swim.
I remember seeing adults in the ‘watching area’, and before I continue, I know! How do I remember something so long ago and actually aware of what was happening around me at the time?!
I recall being on top of a float, being pushed off, and that was it! I slowly went under, the unknown became seconds away from death, and no adult knew what was going on. I’m not even sure the other children knew what was happening.
Luckily, I went under close to one of the ladders at the side of the pool, so despite a few moments of worry, the ladder being there was what saved me.
Having never been in a pool before the party, I didn’t know different parts of the pool were deeper than others. I didn’t know how to float and I didn’t know how to gain momentum to come back on top of the water.
This has stayed with me my entire life!
I’ve been to a pool since. Funny enough, the same pool. I went back to have adult swimming lessons. I’m not ashamed when I say I can’t swim, as in life, there’s always something someone can’t, well say, won’t do. Being in an environment with other learners, many double my age, I felt slightly better about my situation.
OK, it took me a while to be able to put my head underwater and to feel comfortable, but since then, I haven’t been in a pool or the sea. When I’m close to water, I recall what happened when I was 4, but I won’t let this stop me any longer!
My current project JRTV100 is there to support charities and raise awareness of their services and volunteering opportunities. I want to use the source of inspiration for others and benefit my life as well. I want to use my biggest volunteering project to help me conquer my fears.
I’ve had enough of feeling scared when I get close to water and turning down an invite from friends. I want to feel good. I want to feel confident. I want to live my life with no regrets!
It’s going to take time for me to fully overcome the fear, but in September, a 3 day trip to Mount Snowdon is the potential starting point to the next stage in my journey. A next journey, that once again in my life, I’ll take myself out of my comfort zone and finally banish this 21 year fear.
Who knows…maybe I’ll get in the water this Summer! Fingers crossed we get the weather!