Responding to the critics

The journey you’re on is an exciting one with twists and turns happening pretty much on a daily basis, so you want to share it with the world. Sharing my personal life on John’s Road to Volunteering took it’s time to be at the forefront of my content, as I was always scared of being judged. Part of me still is, but I think that’s part the parcel of being a blogger…

You’re going to have your critics.

Sharing my sex life last night on here worried me. I was unsure how the world would react knowing that what I’m up to is probably a bit of a shock. Nothing shocks me!! Things are very individual to everyone in blogging and I think our readers can really forget this at times.

The assumption we’re all humans means we’re all the same. The same in every essence and how our blogs will reflect the niche we represent. THAT’S FAR FROM THE TRUTH!! The niche on John’s Road to Volunteering is JOHN’S ROAD. My road is full of unexpected arrivals and departures and part of that road also entails sharing what happens when it happens.

Having you along for the journey is amazing, and I understand not everyone will agree with what I do, what I say or the decisions I make, but in reality, it’s my journey.

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I choose what content to upload and I choose what tweets/pictures to use to promote John’s Road to Volunteering, and that’s a sign of my happiness.

Being happy with your content is a tricky thing. You have to make sure it’s exactly how you want it and it’s a true representation of the thoughts and actions taken to upload that one piece.

Uploading content yesterday about my sex life didn’t have pictures of dicks or a packet of condoms, but showed me looking out to the ocean. It was a true John’s Road to Volunteering style piece, and part of that piece showed me the confidence I have in sharing some of the things you wouldn’t necessarily know unless you were a close friend.

Writing about your life in a way your readers won’t expect gives me a real buzz. I get a real buzz sharing what’s happening in my life, as that’s why you’re reading my content. You’re reading my content to find out what I’ve been up to and the plans I have, so why should it be different if I talk about sex?

Sex is normal, right? Yes, but there’s a HUGE stigma surrounding it and especially casual sex. Are you using protection? Are you both happy? Make sure you don’t get hurt if feelings appear?! Yes, I know and yes, we’ve spoken about it!

Don’t you think that when I make decisions like this in my life, I’ve actually thought about them? I thought about it for 4 years, and when I found the right person, whom is bloody gorgeous and I’m one hell of a lucky guy, I made the decision to action my wants.

Actioning your wants for your readers to see will get a mixed reaction. I think we need to understand that from both perspectives; the blogger and the reader, as we’re in this together.

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The support a reader gives can brighten your day or really piss you off, and yesterday I was happy. Yes, I had a few comments I was unsure about, but I DON’T CARE!!! If you want to disagree with what I’m doing, do it! I’m not going to change my mind because you want me to, as where would the authenticity be in that?

Authenticity comes in every shape and size in blogging, and I like to think, there’s nothing I wouldn’t share on here. Why wouldn’t I? Why wouldn’t I say that I’m a really happy guy and I’m so looking forward to my future?

Wouldn’t you be happy for someone when they’re happy and are genuinely smiling with every moment they spend with a person they care about?

We’re so fickle in life that we tend to judge too often rather than looking at the beauty that’s in front of us, so when I upload my next personal piece, I ask one thing…

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Rather than making an instant judgement, talk to me. Send me a tweet or DM me and I’ll share more information with you and the reasons why I’m doing what I’m doing. Get to know the person behind the blog before you critique, as there might be a genuine reason for why they’re doing what they’re doing.

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6 thoughts on “Responding to the critics

  1. I’ve been reading your blog for a while and felt I wanted to reply to this one. Before I say anything I know I’m not a great blogger and have not got the background you have however my thoughts come from an observers perspective rather than one of the blogging community. I question if two blogs may be better than one?

    I know you are a Personal blogger, but I wonder if posts about casual sex and “haters” doesn’t detract somewhat from the work that you’re doing. Being part of a community group myself, my board of trustees would question working with someone who posted about their sex life because of the impact that would have being associated with my group – this would come more into effect if you wanted to work with organisations who support those who have suffered domestic or sexual violence, trafficking victims or in fact young people from vulnerable backgrounds. I don’t want to stop you being you, but I wonder if two blogs would work better. I don’t aim to be hurtful, more constructive.

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    1. Casual sex and talking about it should not have any effect working with any of those such charities. We are all human. I have been the victim of sexual abuse, but I can’t not associate myself with people depending on the way they live their life sexually. That’s a bit of a silly way to go about things. And to not speak about it on a personal blog is also then not being true to himself. It’s not like he is trying to turn into a sex and dating blogger which would require a second blog for sure as it is a seperate identity to his personal journey. The place where he posts and writes about his life journey for all to read. I have always welcomed people who can be honest about their sex life and give advice as for people like me, sex is a much harder thing to have trust with and it is very much part of my journey by discussing it with others

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    2. If you’ve read my blog for a while, I’d like to point something out, unless I need consent for that? Maybe you’re one of the critics I need to speak up against…who knows?

      I do a lot of good in this world, using my past traumas to help others to get through their dark times, and am about to put my body through hell to raise thousands of pounds, amplifying how one’s story can have significant impact on other people’s lives.

      Being a personal blogger means I have no limits. There’s no boundaries to what I’ll share on John’s Road to Volunteering, and that’s a reflection on me. I’ve been part of community groups, have been Chairperson, spoken at national conferences (would you like a full list?) and that doesn’t stop me from sharing what I experience.

      There’s so much stigma in this world, I want to break the stereotypes! If we don’t break them, people like you will judge others without actually having a conversation with that person?

      Do you think I wrote this blog post to have questions about what I may or may not be able to do in the future? HELL NO! Nothing will stop me from helping others, and if you never want to work with me, that’s fine. I’d be honoured for that to happen. I might even give you a medal for staying away.

      There’s plenty of people that will give me the time of day, and will understand why I do what I do. I don’t talk about all the dandy things in volunteering all the time, as that’s boring and that’s not true!

      We have a lot to learn in the work we do to support and empower others, and part of that is learning to speak up.

      I wish you every success in the world (that’s a lie) and please take this as constructive feedback 😉

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